All of This: A Memoir of Death and Desire - Paperback

by Rebecca Woolf (Author)

"Beautifully written, complex, provocative, painful, genuine...an unforgettable memoir."--ROXANE GAY

"Wonderfully lyrical and uncomfortably honest in a way that is so rare, yet so needed."--JENNY LAWSON

"Disturbing and profound, this intimate book also reveals the sometimes-labyrinthine nature of the bonds that unite people in love...A provocative and memorable work."--Kirkus Reviews

After years of struggling in a tumultuous marriage, writer Rebecca Woolf was finally ready to leave her husband. Two weeks after telling him she wanted a divorce, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. Four months later, at the age of forty-four, he died.

In All of This, Woolf chronicles the months before her husband's death--and her rebirth after he was gone. With rigorous honesty and incredible awareness, she reflects on the end of her marriage: how her husband's illness finally gave her the space to make peace with his humanity and her own.

Stunning, compelling, and brilliantly nuanced, All of This is one woman's story of embracing the complexities of grief without shame--as a mother, a widow, and a sexual being--and emerging on the other side of a relationship with gratitude and relief.

This unflinching memoir explores:

• Complicated Grief: What does mourning look like when it's for the husband you were preparing to leave? Woolf navigates the messy, unspeakable truth of feeling relief in the midst of loss.
• Marriage and Divorce: A raw look at the end of a tumultuous marriage and the unexpected clarity that comes when a terminal illness forces a final, painful, and compassionate reckoning.
• Caretaking Under Duress: From hospital rooms to hospice at home, this is the story of becoming a caretaker for the person whose presence had felt paralyzing, and making peace with his humanity--and her own.
• A Woman's Rebirth: An exploration of identity after loss, embracing life without shame as a mother, a widow, and a sexual being on her own terms for the first time.