Vampires Don't Suck: An urban fantasy romantic comedy - Paperback

by Juliann Whicker (Author)

Former monster hunter turned magical librarian

After retiring from my career as an assassin for the Holy Order of the Shields of Mercy, I was very determined to remain a quiet librarian whose greatest excitement comes at the corner sushi piano bar translating dead languages after a solid day's work and keeping my best friend from getting drunk and falling off the piano. Six years ago, I was broken when I defeated the monsters who were trying to open a portal to the infernal realm and bring hell back to earth, because that worked so well two hundred years ago when humanity was almost wiped out and all the angelic and demonic creatures came here to stay. I'm done. I've paid my dues and earned my pension check.

For years I've enjoyed peace and quiet, assured that my talent for attracting the worst kind of evil is over, until I run-literally-into him. He's Michael Stead, the vampire scholar who works in the undercity directly beneath my own precious Library of Magical Antiquities in his laboratory filled with monsters. I know how dangerous he is by how attractive I find him, so he is absolutely off limits, particularly when he starts asking questions about the fire I started six years ago in the Square of Immolation in Singsong's undercity caverns, a magical eternal fire that neither the heavenly forces or the diabolical ones could put out, fire that can consume absolutely everything on either side of the line, good and bad.

Nothing could draw me back into that world until my boss is killed by someone using the same demonic mark used to kill my father so many years ago, a murderer who tortured my boss just to find out more about my special fire. Now it's personal and not just because I have to work with the scholar vampire to find the murderer and bring down the big baddie before he reopens the portal and ends my peaceful retirement and the world.

Good thing I have a few allies to help me: Anna a healer with memory loss issues, Mirabel the hopelessly optimistic new music master, and Pansy, the fire-breathing(and farting) bulldog who will probably get me killed me before the end of the world.

But hey. Sushi.

Vampires Don't Suck is the first book in the Singsong City series. It is a standalone paranormal romantic comedy featuring elves, werewolves, witches, vampires, and angel assassins. It is packed with puns, battles, and a sweet, slow burn romance between an oblivious librarian assassin and the brilliant deadly vampire who rules the undercity with an iron grip. Also sushi.