Mormonism, the Matrix and Me: My Journey from Kolob to Calvary - Paperback

by Tracy Tennant (Author)

Mormonism, the Matrix, and Me is a candid memoir of faith, loss, courage, and rediscovery by a woman who spent decades fully immersed in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints-only to discover that the belief system she trusted with her identity, family, and future could not withstand honest scrutiny.

Though not raised in a religious household, Tracy Tennant embraced Mormonism wholeheartedly at the age of thirteen. Over time, she became deeply committed to its teachings, faithfully doing everything expected of a devout Latter-day Saint: temple worship, leadership callings, obedience to prophetic authority, and unwavering loyalty to the Church's truth claims. Like many lifelong members, she believed that doubt signaled personal failure rather than intellectual or spiritual integrity.

When troubling historical inconsistencies and doctrinal contradictions could no longer be ignored, Tracy began asking questions-first quietly, then openly. What followed was not only a theological unraveling, but a deeply personal cost: strained relationships, institutional pressure, threats of disciplinary action, and the painful realization that leaving Mormonism often means losing one's community, reputation, and sense of belonging.

Interwoven with personal narrative, documented history, and moments of unexpected humor, the book explores what it means to wake up from a belief system that once defined everything. Tracy chronicles her transition out of Mormonism, the emotional fallout within her family, her struggle to separate Jesus from institutional authority, and her eventual rediscovery of faith rooted not in obedience or performance, but in grace.

This expanded edition features refined language, improved structure for readability, expanded and standardized citations, and a new appendix addressing recent changes within the LDS Church. It also includes a terminology guide comparing common LDS theological terms with their historic Christian meanings-helping readers recognize where shared language often masks fundamentally different beliefs-along with resources for those questioning their faith and searching for truth beyond religious systems.

Written with honesty, compassion, and clarity, Mormonism, the Matrix, and Me is both a cautionary tale and a story of hope-for former Mormons, questioning believers, and anyone navigating faith after certainty collapses.