Staying Power: On Queerness, Inheritances, and the Families We Choose - Paperback

by Zena Sharman (Author)

A remarkably frank memoir about interdependence, grieving, and parenting as a queer femme that doesn't leave out the messy or the erotic

Staying Power, Zena Sharman's memoir in essays, is a beautiful and honest journey of care work, grief, parenting, and chosen family in the wake of intergenerational trauma. Exploring the lessons and inheritances of being raised by survivors of complex traumas, the book challenges the notion that one must be healed in order to parent well and celebrates the transformative power of queer family-making beyond gay marriage and assimilation into the nuclear family.

The book, which recounts the author's experiences of raising three children in a four-parent queer family, asks, "If leaving has helped you survive, how do you learn to stay?" Sharman finds answers in queer kinship, femme erotics, Leatherdyke lineages, and the radical possibilities inherent in doing motherwork outside of motherhood, recognizing that sometimes you fight the thing you want most.

Staying Power is a moving, deeply personal account of one person's journey of unlearning independence through an experiment in queer collective care.

Author Biography

Zena Sharman (she/her) is an essayist and non-fiction writer whose work explores themes of community, identity, and care. She is the editor of several anthologies, including The Care We Dream Of and the Lambda Literary award-winning The Remedy (both Arsenal Pulp Press). Staying Power is her debut memoir. In 2026, Zena was awarded Douglas College's highest honor--Honorary Fellow--for her contribution to Canadian literature and dedication to supporting inclusive care at all stages of life. She lives on Vancouver Island.